I will leave dating websites because i have found you

I will leave dating websites because i have found you

Nor does it mean I attack you. So, to help with this, I reached out to Julie Spiraonline dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships for her advice on what to say to someone you're chatting with when you realize it's going nowhere. I thought we had worked things out. He had put us in financial problems. Find: certifiedhacker4real at G mail dotcom for helping out.

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The only problem is that you recently found out that throughout your whole relationship your partner has been on dating websites, swiping here, liking there, favoriting here, and emailing here and there with other people of the opposite sex. This is a very tough predicament for both people in the relationship.

The fact of the matter is that the reason is irrelevant. When someone is in an exclusive relationship, it goes without saying that being in an online dating website or app is wrong, and inappropriate. Having a dating site profile online and being active on it is beyond inappropriate and definitely a form of emotional cheating. Honesty is everything. If you need a confidence booster, then there are many other ways to go about it.

I personally experienced something as such a while back, and I can honestly tell you that it was truly painful for me to think or assume that we were in an exclusive relationship, i will leave dating websites because i have found you, being that my partner at the time was on dating websites throughout the whole relationship. I never even saw it coming. You should definitely go into each and every new situation with a blank, clean slate, an open heart, and without bringing any baggage from previous relationships.

You should think of your partner as your best friend, be trusting of them, and build your trust within the relationship by setting an example of being honest yourself.

Great article. Someone I dated was still on their sites and said he turned his sites off. Not only was he on his sites but he was active recently online and his profile shows when you were last online.

I felt so hurt. This happened to me. Someone I met online was still on a dating site and I thought we were exclusive. Guess not. His profile on the other sites looks older but anyway, he sent a message to a woman giving her his phone number just a few weeks ago. I caught him years ago on Zoosk too, but he said that it was old and he forgot to take his profile down. Oh well. The first I wanted out of anyway. A friend of mine called me this evening to tell me she saw my boyfriend of 2 yrs on a dating site, i will leave dating websites because i have found you.

I confronted him and he said it was old but pictures and info were all current. I told him to get i will leave dating websites because i have found you and that what he did is hurtful and cheating.

She was obviously excited by all the likes she received ego boost and she made arrangements in the following days after joining to meet some of the men. Although we resolved to continue after the cheating incident, the wound is still very fresh.

The next day I confronted her and she told me she was very sorry and felt like a loser for her actions. so we still have yet to talk about the issue. When we do, I will explain that I can no longer continue with the relationship. My trust is broken and, even though I still love her, there is no future with someone who acts like this.

If someone would have told me when I met her eight years ago that this would be how it would end, I would have certainly called them crazy! I had been living with my boyfriend for Ten years. The first year he lied about being engaged to a woman in Australia. Two month ago he starts acting strange. He takes a weekend fishing trip that happens to not have cell service. On his way back I told him not to bother to come home. He desires to stop and spend 30k on a travel trailer.

We are talking and trying to work things out. He lies again telling me he is at home sleeping. He was out drinking and purchasing flowers for four woman he sat with all night. Once I seen the photo and found he lied I blocked him for 4 days. We start talking again. He said he wanted to tell me something that might make me mad. He said he had joined a dating site. He joined this site after we split but only 1 day after saying he was not interested in dating or seeing other women.

He said I was the only one. I am very upset about all this and he turns it on me saying I have trust issues. We started the relationship on a lie and here we are again, i will leave dating websites because i have found you.

I suggested a open relationship. He got really mad saying he could never do such a thing. He is not that type of guy. Yes, as hurtful as it is….

you have to move on. There is just nothing there anymore after that!. The excuses are lies. What gets me the most is how fake someone can be the whole time. Their loss. Hopefully, they find what they are looking for and stop using people in between. So you can find that person that really is on the same page as you.

I have personally suffered a fair share of infidelity by my ex-wife who had multiple affairs during our marriage. I got a divorce after catching her in the act several times. Currently going through this now. This is about the 10th time i have caught him having inappropriate behavior online. Needless to say now that the holidays are over so is our marriage. Good thing we do not have any children together.

Of course, he does not admit it! Hmmm sorry not sorry, but shady lying pos. How do you deal with it? Wedding was 2 months away, bought a house together, and vehicles, and now what? I will cheat, just to get even, then what? What happens next? My fiancé and I dated for 14 months and moved in together before I found out that he was on about five different sites. I got the luxury of listening to all i will leave dating websites because i have found you sexting and Skype sex crap I was devastated.

I am seven years younger attractive, and at the time he was about eighty lbs overweight. We had what I thought was a an amazing relationship. He checked outta the dating sites and I let him off the hook with a firm warning and a few fights and tears. My intuition told me it was still in the air. A few months later I checked the phone bill and low and behold lots of early morning texts. Like he walked our the door and began texting a woman.

Actually, a few women, a few really overweight gross married women. I was crushed. Then the lies spiraled from there too. I i will leave dating websites because i have found you the husbands.

I sent them the phone bills with the texts. I informed them off the searing dating sites etc. Then one woman had actually dated him prior to our getting together. Yes, and when I went on her Facebook page she had pictures of her inside his house. Anyway, i will leave dating websites because i have found you, I made his life hell. He is completely transparent 3 years later.

I check now and again, but not like I used to. The only reason I stayed was because he was honest about his activity, really honest. He was remorseful, for his actions, and he worked on himself and proposed. I broke up with him etc. I was brutal, but you have to do it! Some men do it for their egos. I towards the end of my long term marriage dabbled I it too. No sexting just plain chatting but the attention is exciting. If he wants yiu after effing around on dating sites then he has to step up the relationship to the next level….

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In an ideal world, everyone you match with would be, well, a match. More often than not, though, you may find some reason why they're just not someone you're feeling in that way. If that's the case, all bets are off. Here is what she suggests:. Of course, whenever possible, Spira recommends to be the change you want to see in the world and not ghost. I hope you find someone awesome. While your priority should always be your safety and comfort when online dating, it's still nice when to let people down politely when you can.

After all, there is another person on the other end of that dating app chat, which can sometimes be easy to forget. By Rachel Shatto. So, to help with this, I reached out to Julie Spira , online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships for her advice on what to say to someone you're chatting with when you realize it's going nowhere.

We've all been there, and it's super awkward. Here's what Spira had to say. In an ideal world, everyone you match with would be, well, a match. More often than not, though, you may find some reason why they're just not someone you're feeling in that way. If that's the case, all bets are off.

Here is what she suggests:. Of course, whenever possible, Spira recommends to be the change you want to see in the world and not ghost.

I hope you find someone awesome. I have done everything, everything to hold us together and he does nothing…So tell me…where have i gone wrong, how is any of this my fault in any way? Audrey Your situation is not pleasant to hear about. Were you aware of his calls when you married him? Some men never mature, even when they are married and have children. In those situations it is nearly impossible to do anything other than endure, and cover, so your children are unaware.

However, in most homes where the husband has strayed it is because he gave in to temptation instead of opening up to his wife. In far too many of those cases the wife is oblivious of her failures and would not listen even if her husband laid it out as succinctly as I do. Its NOT her fault! Its a problem with a lack of true marital knowledge. How many understand how to gauge their own behaviors? Express love as a natural part of their life?

How to create ongoing intimacy? How to be truly compassionate? If you want a truly happy marriage it is well within your power. However, my conclusion is it mainly comes down to the mans needs not being met, either emotionally or physically. It always seems that women are the givers, and at some point when they get fed up with giving and express that dissatisfaction with the status quo, then men go looking elsewhere.

Women have to be so many things in a marriage, wife, lover, carer, mother, supporter, decision maker, cook, nurse and bottle washer! Men never wear that many different hats. The same question comes from men who read articles addressed to them, about their wives. The person who seeks help has the power to change only themselves so that is what I offer, only that which is useful to them. Keep in mind that his negative actions are no excuse for your undesirable behaviors. My husband drinks and goes on Tinder and talks to women, has sent naked pics, went on a few dates, and invited one woman over.

He says nothing sexual happened. He had been drinking the whole time. I had problems with my sex drive as newlyweds due to birth control pills and he never seemed to be able to let that go because we were supposed to be in newlywed sexual bliss. We waited until we were married for sex.

I felt I was robbed of the experience and have asked him for compassion. He has refused and thinks only about how HE was robbed of the experience. I was thrown in to an alcoholic marriage and rarely connect with him on an emotional level. He continues to drink and treats me in nasty ways.

A few times our interactions turned physical when he drank. So naturally, sex feels like a transaction to please him. How am I supposed stick around for this? And our children? You are like two children fighting over who should go first and keep spiting each other, though he seems better at the negative and is in self-destruct mode. You can be the first to take the first step if you want but you need to do so without all this resentment which means you need to deal with your mind by getting it to do what you tell it to do.

The best solution is the course for women we have at The Marriage Foundation. Really, talk of divorce when you can save your family? You are correct in stating that web sites like Ashley Madison need to disappear from the face of the earth. I know from personal experience that affairs are like atomic bombs, they destroy everything in their path.

I filed for a divorce immediately. We were married for over 20 years. I also discovered that he had been cheating for the 2nd time, this time his affair partner was a married woman. I believe no marriage can be salvaged if the wayward spouse refuse to change and develop a moral compass.

I could no longer accept my ex-husband dishonoring me and disrespecting our teenage daughter. I think not. Dear Msjay I am sorry for your personal experience. I know many therapists, if not most, suggest infidelity spells the end of the marriage. But that is not our experience.

I only wish we could have been there for you and your family. I later discovered that he had at least 4 other sexual affairs and was fired from his job for downloading porn images. Thank you for your well wishes and keep up the good work.

Be blessed! The past is the past, and I am glad you have moved on to raise your daughter well. It is rare, no matter how awful things may appear, to have to lose a marriage, thanks to our discoveries about marriage, and the way we approach it. Many thanks and blessings for sharing your story and confirmation about the Ashley Madisons of the world. I read your article. It was an interesting take on things… I am 6 months into my new marriage, recently discovered my husband has been on a sex dating site.

FFS really?? Wrong or right I felt better confronting him, I am glad he is gone and if he thinks the grass is better well so be it. Hi Bella, You know the article was not written for newlyweds, but for marriages where there are children, and saving the marriage is of a much higher importance. In your case you did the right, and recommended thing. Please read my article on Newlyweds Having Second Thoughts. I am sorry for what you have been through! My husband and I have been married 8 years but I feel like it never was a marriage.

From the start a week after we were married he was talking to other girls. All throughout are marriage he has done this. All the same story. I feel like our marriage was a big waste of my time. We have 2 kids and guess what after each kid was born in found him talking to other girls. even underage. He does everything you can think of to do. Fuck book, Kiki, snap chat, creating different email accounts. Ando bc he has. ptsd and tbi I make it an excuse. Yet here I am trying to make it work.

In our marriage help program for women we begin with how to manage your mind so the impact is greatly lessened, and how to see your husband as having a disease to contend with, that hurts everyone.

Then, we go over marriage in depth, so all your expectations can be realistic. Your husband is reacting; to your behaviors, as well as his own misconceptions. Every man will react differently. You cannot alter the things in his mind, but you can alter the outer conditions, meaning how you are with him. In most cases that is more than enough. In some cases the husband might be using alcohol, drugs, or be impacted by something nobody can see, and those cases are tougher.

Bur usually the marriage should get better in ways you cannot now imagine.. try to not give up. So, what courses are there? And he was a really bad drunk. I need to feel loved as well.

Dear Sarah My suggestion for you is to take our program which is unconditionally guaranteed. I am not saying it will work, because of the drugs and alcohol. But there are many things you can do to be less victimized, and maybe help your husband to see the light. Good Luck to all of you. Good job Lorie! Now, if you wish, you can learn more about marriage and take yours to a higher level, without fear of making mistakes.

Marriage is scientific! He was on his own for a long time and I think they were his female companionship. We both are seniors with very bad experiences in the past and he has many good qualities. I think his male self esteem has been seriously compromised from the past. While I am not threatened by them, I know they indicate that our relationship is not what I want it to be. He is very afraid to open up but is doing so slowly. I agree that confrontation is unlikely to benefit anyone.

It does not take away from the good stuff in our relationship. I have recently started sending him love song videos which he seems to appreciate. I have had, at various times, to make the decision as whether I want to promote this relationship or end it. I have decided to promote it. His communication with me about deep issues and also just to keep on touch when he is away is improving slowly but steadily. At some point I may share with him that I know about it, but in a kind way acknowledging that he has some needs that are not met in our relationship.

Since he has been doing it for a long time before we met I would not expect that he would drop it immediately. None of us is perfect. Your ability to weigh the positives against the negatives and let go of the negatives will allow your love to grow without restraint.

Not building expectations that cannot be met is further proof of your innate wisdom, and your refusal to be influenced by trendy and false crazy ideas is admirable. I think you would enjoy our book. You remind me of one our earlier coaches, who was a MFT and he taught psychology at the collage level. You will do very well with your man, and when you marry you will be able to enjoy much more connection.

Blessings to you both. Thank you Paul. Which book is that? I taught at college for years — in the area of the sciences mainly. Developing that was my first priority. My students taught ne much. You will enjoy and benefit from my books, Breaking The Cycle, or Lessons for a Happy Marriage, both of which are available in the menu.

Thank you for your inputs. In the past year I have found several dating sites my husband is linked to. I confronted him when I discovered a contact in his phone disguised as a male but was really a woman from one of the sites. He deleted the sites but this past week I saw more accounts linked to an email he claims not to use. These sites are specifically for affairs and hook ups. There were even pornographic in his drafts folder. The most recent blow in the course of 48 hours was finding him texting a former friend of mine that slept with my boyfriend back in college.

He claims she texted him and told him to disguise her number. I just recently moved across the country for his new job and we have a young child. Dear Molly, I think you wrote to us, but I will answer here for the sake of others. Marriage is not a plaything or temp relationship, but the way media approaches it we all have ideas about marriage that makes it tough to make it work.

I would not condone any actions which are not marriage building, but the truth is your husband, and you, do not know until you know. The very purpose for our existenceis to teach marriage. Either take our course or read our book. Your situation is not only fixable, but you can use this as a wake up call. As a single woman who uses websites to seek out single, eligible partners I cannot believe the number of men who are married and seeking out a relationship of some sort or another posing as single men.

I do not knowingly date married men and I was shocked at the number of married men I encountered on line. I made dates with these men thinking they were actually single. It became obvious to me at a certain point that they are still heavily involved with a woman in some way. Honestly, the problems these men have are worthy of a paycheck for me! I am not a marriage counselor, but it seems to me that is the role I play for these men.

A lot of times I feel they are actually trying to understand why their marriage is so bad and what they can do to make it better. I am an honest and perceptive woman. Most of these guys need some help and usually their marriages mean more to them than being single or getting divorced. There is a breakdown in the marriage somewhere along the way.

When I discover the men are married I just converse with them politely. I think these men are very confused and do not know how to go about repairing their marriages. These guys all claim they are not happy but they have no plans to divorce or remarry. So women — arm yourself with this thought. So just because your husband is on a dating website do not assume that he is willing to throw your marriage down the drain or will find a regular woman who will go for this unless she is desperate to have a child and entrap a married man.

I f you want your marriage to go down the drain and the guy has been a handful, I could understand why you might want to throw in the towel.

From what I have seen of most of these married men they have really lost their way in the marriage. Most of them have no plans to divorce or remarry right away. Try to work on your marriage unless the man has been utterly disgusting has sex with your sister, is involved with criminal activity, is abusive to you or your children. A lot of the guys have career or substance abuse issues which will usually not go away by replacing their wives.

And of course most normal women do not want to get involved with a married man with financial, legal or substance abuse issues! Most of these guys need a fresh perspective on their marriage and their lives, not a divorce. I also meet married men when I am out socially who are cheating on their wives. I am not a therapist nor am I affiliated with this website. These guys are truly lost but it seems very evident to me that they are not planning on divorcing or remarrying.

I think people often forget about basic love and respect in their marriages. I always act like a lady on every date. The guys I have met said they had fun or enjoyed my openness or honesty.

I am sure they found me physically attractive as well, but it seems like a different perspective is what attracted them the most. A lot of people seem to say they are no longer in love, but I think they have forgotten how to keep the relationship lively. Why is the guy taking me out to dinner or out dancing to a new place he has never been to with his wife?

I think the answer is that one or both of them has forgotten the initial fun and attraction that characterized the reason for their initial union, and the unique way they have helped one another along in life.

I agree with your opinion. May be worsened the situation. I have 5 years old daughter and hence feel sceptical to take any bold step. I am trying my best to understand his psychological and physical needs, and trying to fulfil at his requirement level. I have started to show him more love and attention; and trying to motivate him a lot because his professional life is not good from past many years.

Please advise me if I am incorrect somewhere. I have two questions, please advise me: 1. How to maintain my sexual life? But I keep going to him after few days.. sometimes week and give more days gap intentionally.

How do I help him come out of online dating, affairs etc. Also presently he is staying in different city because of his work. I am glad you followed that course of action.

Turning from taking things personally to compassionate understanding is a powerful medicine that you need to take for the rest of your life. answer yo question 1, is to work on the relationship first, but always letting him know how much you love his lovemaking see the difference? question 2 is you cannot, so do not try. Please read one of our books or take the course…you will be fine if you become knowledgeable.

I understand that the advice you are giving is logical. It could work if the man truly is in love and just acting badly.

It makes me cry to read though. I feel as if this behavior destroys me. Why must i be so much better then i am to deserve to truly be cared for.

My brain says people are human and they can hurt you and love you at the same time. My heart says no, i have loved you and you have used me. How nasty that you should do that and the only way i can fix it is to go on and on feeling so unloved while i try to win you.

I am confused! Dear Betsy Your confusion is completely understandable, and very common. We give and give and give. To the end of the earth and yet we should be the ones to change more? To live more so that we can win him back? He refuses to get help, counseling. Dear Kris Can you recall one time in your life that resentment actually accomplished anything good? Because I have never seen or heard of anger, vengeance, or expectations ever create a positive result. Our point is that those who escape their marriages, their wives, by going onto porn sites, or looking for sex fixes, are running for a reason.

Is it right that they should do so? Of course not! But neither is it right that a wife would abandon all loyalty, and all compassion, to express her disdain for the man she married by condemnation. Your husband is not perfect. Neither are you. We are here to help marriages, and we are very good at it. Our clients are successful. But we will only alter our ways when we find a better way to heal marriages.

Confronted him and he denied, denied, denied. Gave him photocopies of proof, then he started being affectionate to me. I wanted to throw up. So we finally talked and I chose to continue the relationship if he could confront the ex and tell her he would not be speaking with her anymore.

He did. I thought we had worked things out. Recently my girlfriend tells me he is messaging her through a dating site. Asked him why he was on a dating site. Again deny, deny, deny. I joined the dating website and messaged him. Still he denies that he got my message. The site confirms that he was online and got it. So do I continue to be treated like an ass at home while he is doing whatever when I go to work to support us both???? must I just endure it and fix it myself.

Somehow I do not think you are married. and, yes, there is a difference. The things you did are aggressive, confrontational, intense. What would your reaction be? I do hope there are no children involved. Neither of you are educated enough to raise children properly, and perhaps not mature enough either. You do not ask questions that would help your relationship. So there can be no valuable feedback for you. I have more than one degree and have studied psychology and human development.

I have two grown children that are doing very well. those who are willing to look at themselves, with at least some scrutiny, can find a path out of their difficulties. Self-improvement is necessary when our old ways fail us. What is not being dealt with is the hurt and extreme pain that we endure. What do we do with that??? Sometimes the only comfort is to let it go because harmony is much more tolerable. with repeat offenses, those feelings just keep getting exposed over and over again.

Susan, you cannot control your husband, but you can learn to manage your mind.. It is not your husbands actions that are the root of your suffering, but how you perceive his actions, or better stated, how your mind perceives his actions.

Your mind will control you until, through educated understanding, you learn to control it. Then, and only then, can you be on the path to happiness. Our teachings are not to become a martyr. On the contrary. Our teachings are wonderful explanations so you can be happy. Dear Jan I can appreciate your comment about my advice as it applies to your own situation, but a general article is not intended to cover every situation, nor do I suggest that a few tips are always adequate to resolve an issue that is essentially a symptom.

My advice is to let women know that although it is not their fault their husband is yielding to this monstrous temptation, there are things they can do about it. The fact that you would trash me personally, says a lot about your personality and approach to your husband, who is much closer to you. Your level of expectations of him are obviously greater than he can deliver, yet you pummel him in a public venue- venting.

Where is your spiritually driven compassion? Would you expect a man with a broken arm to carry a piano? My advice is sound, based on the core principles we teach. Not everyone can appreciate the depth, but we have seen much worse situations than yours get corrected.

You have a done a great job protecting your children and remaining loyal. I wish you would study what we offer so you can do even better — Paul. I am a pretty woman. I get hit on all the time by men but I tell them I am married and not interested. Anyhows I just found out about two months ago that my husband has 5 accounts on sexads. com site. How I found out is because I made an anonymous account on there and searched his name.

Anyhows, he has been searching for local women to hook up with and be even prints out pictures of these women that are nude. It makes me furious about it. I tried to block this site but then he abuses me and calls me a bitch over and over. Also he drinks so that ads to the situation too. I have tried to be attracted to him like I used to but he just wants sex.

He is not an attractive man. He is very skinny and the alcoholism has aged him badly. I need advice please!!! Dear Gail Alcohol is a terrible disease of the mind, and those who fall into its clutches have a very difficult time getting unhooked because it reduces the users will power, sometimes slowly, sometimes drastically. Our advice is for you to rise above your current situation, yes, but also take precautions that prevent you from sliding into the state he is in.

We also advise you to create in yourself an attitude of compassion towards him, rather than disdain, because compassion forces you to up while not pushing him further down.

We have been together for 12 years and married 8 we fell in love with each other after both being in very difficult relationships, moved in together both having children from previous marriages, but we got through everything that had been thrown at us. I thought we always had this special connection not matter what we were there for each other.

I have just found on my husband computor he joined a sexy dating site chatting to woman saying sexual things he wanted to do to them and to arrange to meet one inpertiqular, I beleive this has not happened as i spoke to the girl, All i can say is i am heartbroken. I have confronted him I did scream and shout at first but that is because my husband the man i love destroyed me, he has deleted everything he tells me he loves me and he is sorry and that it became an addiction.

I am trying to pick up the pieces but i feel so hurt how could he do this to us, to us we were suppose to be solid. Suzy The test you are going through is difficult, to say the least, but that does not mean you will not get to the other side of this, and far beyond.

This is a wake up call. What you do from here is up to you, and how you perceive what happened the reasons why will have a lot to do with what you do from here. Understanding the difference between how men and and women relate to sex, due to biological drives and social training is essential for you. Then, when you have the option of feeling compassion instead of hurt, you will be able to move forward if you plan on being there for him.

We have seen this situation many times before. We have never seen a failure at least with our clients. I have been married for 10 years. He is constantly checking his phone. He had put us in financial problems. I feel sick to think that he could to this to me. I wish I knew about his life style before I got pregnant. Please what can I do I feel so alone.

Dear Agnes Please contact us through our coaching…go on the website, and find the contact link. I have been married for 14 years, he has been acting weird latley so I decied to check his phone, and he is signed up to numerous online dating websites.

What do I do? Do I just keep my mouth shut and assume he is just browsing. It is not your fault, but saving your relationship is going to take you stepping up your love and expressions. AND, it is not a good time to bring it up. I have been in a committed relationship for over 5 years. Lately I noticed that there was something not right in the relationship,as he always hid his phone from me and would never allow me to see his passwords on his computer.

Well one day he left his computer open with his emails right there in front of me. I found a message that he sent to a woman whom was a work associate. The message contained very passionate and sexual connotations.

I asked him about this. I felt very hurt because I was very committed to him and had been by his side for everything and loved him and showed him love. I felt very angry as this was going on for quite some time. They were going to lunch together frequently. He said that there was nothing sexual between them. How could there not be any more. He never spoke to me like that. He said he would stop seeing her at lunch and stop the emailing and texting with her.

That was one month ago. What should I do? I feel very unwanted. I am rather obsessed thinking about what he may be doing behind my back. It is a psychophysiological reality that a committed relationship is not the same as marriage. In the past, when we have tried to help couples in less than a marriage we have seen the strain break the bond, as it is just not the same.

I suggest you learn about marriage from one of our books or courses, then you may have a better notion of what the right thing for you to do. We have a 2 year old daughter and another on the way. I recently found him on dating websites like tinder and plenty of fish etc. But today I found him on another one claiming to be single and to having no children.

The idea is we have a good relationship I always have been good to him and his needs are met. So why is this happening. Im not dumb though I know he has to be getting messages from girls and sending them out. Is it worth it to stay? And how should I confront him.

Dear Jessica………your situation is as tough as can be because you are doubly vulnerable. We would say to continue loving him, but protect your family by not allowing sex without a condom. Therapy will likely not work. As you say, he is too immature. But this is not a family buster unless you are the one to bust it. He, like you, needs unconditional love. It would be wise for you to use our course or, at the very least, read one of our books — both spell out much that you need to learn.

Your advice is very similar to a program I followed when trying to save my first marriage.